Even though adhering to the strict rules of a diet is difficult, completely letting go can seem even more impossible. After years of religiously following someone else’s rules, where do you begin once that rule book is taken away? One of the most common questions I hear from a woman who has been a life-long dieter is, “How can I even begin to know what my body wants to eat?”.
The best analogy I have heard to describe the experience of navigating the path towards intuitive eating is that of learning how to drive a car. I cannot take credit for coming up with this comparison, but after hearing it on several occasions, I am not sure who to credit for its origination. Here is my version of the story…
Think back to your 16-year-old self. You sit into the driver’s side, awkwardly adjusting the seat and steering wheel. You take time to find the perfect angles for all of your mirrors. Meanwhile, your head is swirling with self-doubt and sheer terror. Do you remember how out of place you initially felt behind the wheel?
You din’t tear out of the driveway and set out on a cross-country road trip on major U.S. highways. Instead, you slowly drove along quiet back-roads to gently build up your confidence as a new driver. You had a mentor sitting right beside you to help with directions. You checked your mirrors incessantly, always indicated with your blinker, and stopped when the lights turned yellow. You were overly cautious of other drivers around you. I vividly remember feeling terrified every time a car passed me in oncoming traffic, so I clipped my fair share of mailboxes & telephone poles driving too far over the white line!
Nobody expected you to be able to drive on the busiest, most difficult roads initially. With time and experience you eventually became comfortable enough to drive too fast, roll through stop signs, and switch lanes without checking your blindspot. This is comparable to the experience of learning how to navigate your way through a meal without the guidelines of a diet.
When you first sit down at the table, you will need to consciously check in with the feelings and desires of your body. Observe thoughts as you compare your meal to others around you and wonder if you chose the right foods, or if your portion sizes are appropriate. Your mind will swirl with thoughts like: “Is that really the food your body wants and needs? Is there enough nutritional value in your choices?”. Expect to feel awkward and uncomfortable initially, much like your 16-year-old self in the driver’s seat.
As with learning all new things, the longer you spend practicing, the more ease you will feel while navigating through meal times. Try to welcome all of the time it takes to practice. You will have moments of feeling frustrated and terrified. And maybe you’ll always hold on to some of your little quirks (like how, to this day, I continue to drive a little too close to the sidewalk / or how I tend to mindlessly snack while standing up in the kitchen until I can decide what my body is truly craving). The goal is not to become a “perfect” eater, but rather to shift your relationship with food in a way that better serves the unique needs of your body.
Eventually you will be speeding along, eating more some days and less others. You will venture out into unexplored places, trying new flavors, textures, and experiences. A balance will naturally emerge between restriction and indulgence. Allow yourself to flow with the journey and keep your eyes focussed on the road ahead. You will be amazed by how much you discover about yourself when you toss that old road map aside and set out into the unknown. Take a deep breath, ask for the support you need, and release yourself from the destructive cycle of dieting.