Food provides nourishment to fuel our bodies and offers us a sense of satisfaction and pleasure. Eating can and should be enjoyed for both physical and emotional reasons. However, the diet industry has conditioned us to believe that we should be able to control our natural desire for food. We have taken it so far as to believe that by controlling our food intake, we can in turn control our body sizes, emotions, and lives. Instead of being a source of daily pleasure, food becomes our greatest enemy. Sadly, the diet industry continues to thrive and this painful relationship with food has become a common experience.
Reflecting on how and what we eat can provide incredible insight into our beliefs about who we are in the world. In the words of Geneen Roth, “Our relationship to food is an exact microcosm of our relationship to life itself.” Although this may sound far-reaching, you can begin to heal your relationship with food by reflecting on the deeper meaning behind your eating behaviors.
The Struggle of Dieting
Every compulsive dieter can relate to being thrust into the relentless cycle of restricting & overeating, where thoughts of food completely take over. Eating in the Light of the Moon, written by Anita Johnston, PhD, is a book that uses myths, metaphors and stories as a way to guide women through their relationships with food. I find the following excerpt particularly helpful when trying to visualize the powerful role food plays in both helping and hindering you.
Imagine yourself standing in the rain on the bank of a raging river. Suddenly, the water-swollen bank gives way. You fall in and find yourself being tossed around in the rapids. Your efforts to keep afloat are futile and you are drowning. By chance, along comes a huge log and you grab it and hold on tight. The log keeps your head above water and saves your life. Clinging to the log you are swept downstream and eventually come to a place where the water is calm. There, in the distance, you see the riverbank and attempt to swim to shore. You are unable to do so, however, because you are still clinging to the huge log with one arm as you stroke with the other. How ironic. The very thing that saved your life is now getting in the way of you getting to where you want to go.
There are people on the shore who see you struggle and yell, “Let go of the log!” But you are unable to do so because you have no confidence in your ability to make it to shore. Perhaps simply letting go of the log may not be the best course of action to take. What would happen if you let go of the log, began to swim to shore, and got halfway there only to find you didn’t have the strength to make it all the way? This means that you wouldn’t be able to make it back to the log either.
And so, very slowly and carefully, you let go of the log and practice floating. When you start to sink, you grab back on. Then you let go of the log and practice treading water, and when you get tired, hold on once again. After awhile, you practice swimming around the log once, twice, ten times, a hundred times, until you gain the strength and confidence you need to swim to shore. Only then do you completely let go of the log.
You cling to this log in much the same way that you desperately cling to the latest diet trend. A diet provides hope and support when the world around you feels difficult to navigate. You may feel so out of control around food that an extremely rigid diet seems to be your only lifeline. But the very nature of a diet is not sustainable and it prevents you from fully experiencing your life. The cycle of restricting & subsequently overeating depletes your energy and self-confidence. The very diet that was once your greatest support becomes a heavy, unnecessary burden to carry. Regardless of the pain felt from dieting, it seems impossible let go of external food rules and trust your body’s hunger and fullness cues.
Explore Your Eating Behaviors
Ask yourself the following questions:
- In what way has your relationship with food helped you stay afloat?
- What feelings or experiences are you avoiding by turning to food as a coping mechanism?
- What do you fear will happen if you end the cycle of dieting?
- What other coping skills can you utilize to navigate through difficult situations?
- Who can you turn to for support in this process of changing your relationship with food?
- Describe how your life will look when you release the struggle with food.
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If you find this helpful, I encourage you to pick up a copy of Eating in the Light of the Moon, there is so much more you can explore through her story.