The pursuit of health has become an overwhelming focus in our society. Women are bombarded with constant messages about diet, wellness, beauty, and weight. So many of us give food the power of defining our self worth, which leads to a complete obsession with finding and adhering to the “perfect” diet. Working with women and girls in eating disorder treatment I have the opportunity to witness the powerful process that occurs when a woman says “no” to using food as a means for control and chooses instead to embrace the deepest parts of herself. As the energy bound up in the cycle of dieting is released, incredible shifts will happen for a woman – not only in the way that she manages her health, but in the way that she shows up in her life.
Each time a woman chooses to feed herself based on anyone’s standards but her own, she turns away from her wise, instinctual nature. When a woman uses a diet to force her body into an unnatural size, she loses so much more than physical weight. A diet teaches a woman to silence all of her innermost urges and desires. In extreme cases, eating disorders can cause a woman to lose her voice completely. Each day I work with women and girls to pursue health behaviors in a weight-neutral way. To help women say “no” to the messages encouraging them to believe that denying their most natural food cravings will somehow make them righteous and superior. Not only do I see nutritional status improve as a woman widens her variety of intake, I am consistently amazed by how strongly her personality and voice emerge through the process.
Our culture has recently been experiencing a collective rise in women’s voices, demanding equality and respect in the workplace. On an individual level, “no” is the most powerful word in the language of a woman with strong self worth. It allows her to stand in her strength and hold the boundaries required to protect her wild nature. The journey of releasing the cycle of dieting requires a woman to connect with her courage to say “no” to the things that do not serve her.
- NO to old habits and eating patterns.
- NO to the seduction of a new diet.
- NO to forcing the body to be an unnatural size.
- NO to managing emotions with food.
- NO to superficial definitions of self worth.
- NO to people pleasing.
- NO to relationships that do not serve.
Through her incredible book, Women Who Run With the Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estés calls for women to reconnect with their wild feminine nature. “The wild nature [of a woman] carries the bundles for healing; she carries everything a woman needs to be and know. She carries the medicine for all things. She carries the stories and dreams and words and songs and signs and symbols. She is both vehicle and destination.” Estés so beautifully explains that although this wild woman has been suppressed by culture for thousands of years, women have a deep yearning to reconnect to this part of themselves. “Once women have lost her and then found her again, they will contend to keep her for good. Once they have regained her, they will fight and fight hard to keep her, for with her their creative lives blossom; their relationships gain meaning and depth and health; their cycles of sexuality, creativity, work, and play are re-established; they are no longer marks for the predations of others; they are entitled equally under the laws of nature to grow and to thrive.”
Use the power of “no” to step into your personal power and return to the relationship with food that is inherent to your wild feminine nature.